OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
