Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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