why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
