She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize