yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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