Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
