Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
