So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
