East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
