nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
This is my gift to your gina
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
