so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
