Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize