just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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