maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
