is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
