I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
