I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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