Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
