eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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