Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
