last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
