Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
