haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
