Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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