I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
