OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
