Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Do you still have your period?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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