everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
