Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
