Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
