Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
im holly from the hills drunk
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Randomize
