she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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