Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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