we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
