he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
