You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
