I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
sarcasm needs its own font
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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