You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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