Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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