i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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