sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Shame - the story of my life.
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