if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
