dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
