Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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