i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
