She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
