my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
