when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
