By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
