That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
