you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize