I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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