Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
