My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Dear god my vagina.
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