Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
