i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
