i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
