There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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